Learning To Love Again

Difficulties arise when I look into others' eyes;

No longer can I hide in a disguise.

I wish I could keep steady in this trance;

But we keep turning in this masquerade dance.

I look up to the sky to discover blue turning red,

a book upon my thigh to recover memories of the dead.

For I have lived many tales, being both hero and villain;

For I have contrived many tells, having both zero and a million.

To smoke and vapor I must become;

I look solid until grasped, oh, to be numb.

I dare to feel the same as I once was;

Let me slip through the fingers of all their applause.

Don't put me on a pedestal near the top;

I fear I'll fall after one little pop.

Well, shoot, there go my balloons;

Well, shoot, here to draw at this high noon saloon.

A duel to the death, til one is the victor;

I sometimes fear this game of who's the best contradictor.

But I still get a thrill from every single touch;

I still fear it'll end in chills with nothing left to clutch.

I have less care for "I love you" and more for "I'll be there.";

for a snake's forked tongue comes slithering with enchanting snares.

Sweet to the ears but not to the taste;

to be known by fruits and not as waste.

Please be patient with my heart and the burdens it tries to hide;

There is more depth to this soul than any has come to find.

I discover every day a new reason to smile;

It is crazy I get to have my own style.

I have some brand new clothes to try on, and that is a surprise;

I'm used to pockets being empty with clouds covering the sunrise.

But their reflection makes some beautiful sights;

And the dark taught me to see the stars during the night.

I thought I had a heart of stone, but it was actually made of glass;

It needed some cracks to show it had some mass.

Christ has created flesh of my heart that took a cross and much pain;

So every day I'm learning to love again.